How I Changed…….

Life is hard.  But out of the years I have lived, the hardest journey I have gone through is loving myself.  I am young, 5’7, an athlete, and a bigger boned person.  I have lost 27 pounds since August to now, right now.  I’ve changed throughout this one year into a more confident, healthy young women, and I feel amazing.  I love to eat healthy food and workout.  I have at least 4 fruits a day, and do intense swimming two times a week.  I love to feel the burn.  And after I work out, I feel motivated.  I do basketball, field hockey, and swimming.  Basketball after school once a week, swimming two times a week, and field hockey four times a week for 1 hour each time. But why can’t I love myself and be happy with who I am?  Why do I compare myself with the skinny, shorter people in my class?  Why don’t I love the what I am, and what I look like?  Why can’t I?  I cried today because I felt so out of place.  I was stressed from work, and sports, and most of all, not loving myself.  I just want to feel good about the one person who understand’s me the most……….me.  But I can’t all time, because I am surrounded by Magazine’s and T.V. shows that make you believe you have to look like those girls.  But I don’t want to look like those girls, I don’t want to be that girl who is so self- conscience about themselves that they don’t even want to wear shorts or eat in front of other people.   want to be the girl that doesn’t care what other people think about them.  I want to wear a crop top and high waisted shorts, and be happy with how I look.  I don’t want to walk outside and feel as if no one likes me because of my size.  I never want to feel that way, and I hope to dear god that no one else does either.  Life is hard, but some days you wake and realize that you are beautiful in and out.  Don’t be afraid of who you are, and don’t think that I am some small ass chick.  I’m not.  I am a size 6-10, depending, and I’m fit.  That’s all I want, nothing more than a healthy lifestyle, a great body, time to workout, wonderful friends, and most of all, to love myself each and every way I was made.   Go home and put on a bikini, throw a small tank top on, and some of your favorite shorts, and go live life.